Monday, April 1, 2013

You are driving me crazy!

Saturday night my wife sat down while I was on the computer and said, "You don't talk to me like you used to! It is driving me crazy!" I turned my attention away from the the computer and looked at her. She then went on, "All we ever talk about any more is your books, books, books or your latest comment some reviewer said or your latest blog or tweet. You just ignore me and that upsets me. We used to talk all the time about other things than your blasted books! It is making me crazy.
So I shut down the computer when she made the remark, "Every time we start talking, you turn to that keyboard during the conversation, answering some email or scanning something. You don't even look at me while we talk anymore!"
We talked about not talking and her feeling of being ignored. I thought back and yes we did talk more a few years back but we had children and grandchildren to discuss. Lately, I feel we have ran out of subjects to discuss since none of the children live close enough anymore to spend the weekends or something. Then I thought about the other subjects we used to talk about. My work and her work.  Not one to gossip, I don't have much to say about what is going on in the city we live in. Her health issues, especially her Chronic Vertigo some times makes it impossible for her to walk. I took early retirement to be with her and help her on those days when she can't stand up without falling. I decided to retire when she let it slip that some days while I'm at work she had to crawl on her hands and knees to the bathroom, unable to stand up. I am here to help her on those days, taking her to the bathroom, sometimes holding her up so she can cook or doing what she wants while she supervises.
With neither of us working now, that is one less thing to talk about. I didn't realize that she was feeling ignored and it was making her just wanting to explode. She tried to hide her health issues from everyone so we almost became recluses staying to ourselves. But she has finally faced the fact she cannot hide her problem because she is such a sociable person, she needs to see other people on a regular basis and talk. I thought my taking her out once in a while would give her others to speak with and make her happy but since we are together 24/7 she wants me to talk to her constantly. This issue I don't know what to do, should I abandon my books? I have always wrote when I had a chance, now with being retired, I spend more time writing. I guess to make her happy but her happiness is the most important thing to me in my life, I will cut way down on my writing, blogging and tweeting.
Talk back to me, I'm not sure what to do. I'm at a crossroads and need some advice especially female advice or other hushands that have gone through this problem. I'm Listening!